The world isn't flat.
About seven or eight months ago I inherited a used computer. It's the computer I have now and am typing these very words on it's keyboard. It's been a great computer, but there's a funky glitch with the calendar. Every time I turn on or wake up the computer it updates me with tomorrow's events, and every day it reminds me of where I'm going tomorrow. So weird right?? Just kidding, that's not weird. The weird part is that I did not create these "events". They just pop up saying "Syngapore tomorrow" or "Uruguay Tomorrow". These strange and far away destinations that I probably would have a hard time even locating on a map, to be honest, are apparently my destinations of tomorrow. And I have no idea how or why.
I tried to get rid of the notifications and I feel like it maybe worked for a week or two, but it keeps coming back. It's really weird and really annoying.
It got me to thinking, though. Maybe I could look at it as a reminder that there's a lot of life to live and there's a lot of world to see.
I've been giving myself a real hard time the last several weeks about not having my life on track. I've been feeling like even though moving away was a big thing, I'm just living the same life but in a different city. I'm still waitressing (except at a bar that isn't even half as cool or fun or genuine as Harlow's). I'm still wondering what I'm doing with myself and with my life. And I'm still confused as fuck. The only difference is I'm in a different city and I'm alone.
So, alas, another growing pain transpires. A feeling, then a thought, then a verdict (shout out to The Verdict). That is what my growing pains consist of. Right now I'm in-between the feeling and thought phases. I have an anxiety about my life, and I analyze it. I want to understand why I'm feeling a certain way and what I can do to over-come it.
The only problem is that this becomes a cycle of thought I get stuck in without much action. I feel it, I analyze it, I think it, I analyze it again. I always did identify as a thinker more than a do-er...
Anyway, ever since this passed winter I've been talking about doing a work-away in Costa Rica. I've had so much support to do this fun adventure. Co-workers, friends, family-- thumbs up from all. It was sort of my next step after turning my life on it's head but then I got side-tracked by moving to a "realistic" place. Which I am happy I did. But my mind and heart have wondered back to this idea.
I have 16 hosts saved on my profile to email. Everything from working on a butterfly farm, to volunteering at a hostel, to nannying for a family. I'm thinking February or March would be perfect timing. I'll be sick of winter in New England and it won't be the rainy season in Costa Rica.
Emails go out tomorrow.
I tried to get rid of the notifications and I feel like it maybe worked for a week or two, but it keeps coming back. It's really weird and really annoying.
It got me to thinking, though. Maybe I could look at it as a reminder that there's a lot of life to live and there's a lot of world to see.
I've been giving myself a real hard time the last several weeks about not having my life on track. I've been feeling like even though moving away was a big thing, I'm just living the same life but in a different city. I'm still waitressing (except at a bar that isn't even half as cool or fun or genuine as Harlow's). I'm still wondering what I'm doing with myself and with my life. And I'm still confused as fuck. The only difference is I'm in a different city and I'm alone.
So, alas, another growing pain transpires. A feeling, then a thought, then a verdict (shout out to The Verdict). That is what my growing pains consist of. Right now I'm in-between the feeling and thought phases. I have an anxiety about my life, and I analyze it. I want to understand why I'm feeling a certain way and what I can do to over-come it.
The only problem is that this becomes a cycle of thought I get stuck in without much action. I feel it, I analyze it, I think it, I analyze it again. I always did identify as a thinker more than a do-er...
Anyway, ever since this passed winter I've been talking about doing a work-away in Costa Rica. I've had so much support to do this fun adventure. Co-workers, friends, family-- thumbs up from all. It was sort of my next step after turning my life on it's head but then I got side-tracked by moving to a "realistic" place. Which I am happy I did. But my mind and heart have wondered back to this idea.
I have 16 hosts saved on my profile to email. Everything from working on a butterfly farm, to volunteering at a hostel, to nannying for a family. I'm thinking February or March would be perfect timing. I'll be sick of winter in New England and it won't be the rainy season in Costa Rica.
Emails go out tomorrow.
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